• 13:59 www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8m_J6sXj_0
  William S. Burroughs - A Thanksgiving Prayer #

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In the same spirit, here's a cool video of
Words of Advice for Young People



People often ask me if I have any words of advice for young people. Well, here are a few simple admonitions for young and old.

Never interfere in a boy and girl fight.

Beware of whores who say they don't want money. The hell they don't. What they mean is they want more money. Much more.

If you're doing business with a religious son of a bitch, get it in writing. His word isn't worth shit, not with the good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.

Avoid fuckups. You all know the type. Anything they have anything to do with, no matter how good it sounds, turns into a disaster.

Do not offer sympathy to the mentally ill. Tell them firmly, "I am not paid to listen to this drivel. You are a terminal fool."

Now some of you may encounter the devil's bargain if you get that far. Any old soul is worth saving at least to a priest, but not every soul is worth buying. So you can take the offer as a compliment. They charge the easy ones first, you know, like money, all the money there is. But who wants to be the richest guy in some cemetery? Not much to spend it on, eh, Gramps? Getting too old to cut the mustard. Have you forgotten something, Gramps? In order to feel something, you have to be there. You have to be 18. You're not 18, you are 78. Old fool sold his soul for a strap-on.

How about an honorable bargain? "You always wanted to become a doctor. Now's your chance. Why, you could have become a great healer and benefit humanity. What's wrong with that?" Just about everything. There are no honorable bargains involving exchange of qualitative merchandise like souls. Just quantitative merchandise like time and money. So piss off, Satan, and don't take me for dumber than I look. As an old junk pusher told me, "Watch whose money you pick up."

-- William S. Burroughs

A Thanksgiving Prayer, by William S. Burroughs


For John Dillinger
In hope he is still alive
Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 1986

Thanks for the wild turkey and the Passenger Pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts

thanks for a Continent to despoil and poison —

thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger —

thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin, leaving the carcass to rot —

thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes —

thanks for the AMERICAN DREAM to vulgarize and falsify until the bare lies shine through —

thanks for the KKK, for nigger-killing lawmen feeling their notches, for decent church-going women with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces —

thanks for "Kill a Queer for Christ" stickers —

thanks for laboratory AIDS —

thanks for Prohibition and the War Against Drugs —

thanks for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business —

thanks for a nation of finks — yes, thanks for all the memories... all right, let's see your arms... you always were a headache and you always were a bore —

thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.



There's also an excellent video of this on youtube

link!

• 21:52 www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxCj2MO02AE
  Ukulele Orchestra of GB - Life on Mars #
• 21:55 www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGhL_1tdWmE&feature=related
  Rock n Roll Suicide Live in Japan #

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• 14:43 RE: @racialjustice I'm not sure how to reply, but to adebe d.a., you raise a very good point.
  And I haven't seen the G… disq.us/450nl #

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• 18:58 RE: @racialjustice The new doll is fairly white skinned for an African American. This is furthering the notion that l… disq.us/435p6 #
• 19:08 RE: @racialjustice Couldn't they exploit the fact that he was mentally ill? Why does it have to be about race/religion… disq.us/4368q #
• 19:10 RE: @racialjustice "Then Erickson revealed that he was actually calling for the removal of European immigrants, who ar… disq.us/436e4 #

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• 16:25 I learned a new word today. Mojado. It means wetback.
  
  And really, isn't that what cultural awareness is all about? #
• 16:27 @Taps7734 how the hell do u get a METAL splinter?!?! #
• 16:30 @SockDreams Those shoes are sooo cute.
  I want them #
• 16:32 @FoPRR Oh, cool! I just learned about the Ozette site in archaeology the other day. #
• 16:34 RT @WorldNewsEU: Check out this interesting story at 7thSpace Interactive - 7thspace.com/go/325314/ #
• 16:34 I would love to go see that exhibition #
• 16:35 The good thing is, www.bodiestheexhibition.com/
  Bodies The Exhibition is in Dallas.
  Yay for plasticfied corpses! #
• 16:36 bit.ly/4iM1Li
  heh I want this "grave digger" message board #
• 16:37 k, back to transcribing #

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• 20:28 god damn me for smoking weed and then expecting to be able to type shit without countless fucking errors #
• 20:28 @TeensAreMorons -SAME. I think because I ate so much ramen as a teenager the mere thought of it makes me yack #
• 20:29 @drewtoothpaste bloodclot FTW #
• 20:30 @gynosaurusrex bump-its are fucking retarded.I went to wal-mart last night and told matt to buy me some. then I had to explain what they r #
• 20:33 david lynch's twitter is fucking weird.
  
  then again, what did I expect?
  
  I'm too stoned to make sense of his latest tweets right now #
• 20:34 Okay I reread it again and now it makes sense.
  
  5 points for me #
• 20:35 @tastekid what was 2 stupid dogs? that was cartoon network, right? all i can remember is catdog from nickelodean. this will drive me nuts #
• 20:51 I could take 35 baboons in a giant dildo fight! theoatmeal.com/quiz/baboon_dildo from @oatmeal #
• 20:52 @gynosaurusrex that is the greatest fucking quiz ever.
  I got 35. Pretty impressive, I would estimate I could only get about 12 #
• 20:56 @amandapalmer (re: twitgoo.com/4q693) WOW #
• 21:00 @lividlunatic and porn.
  
  links to porn #
• 21:01 this couch is making my butt hurt #
• 21:02 @amandapalmer (re: twitgoo.com/4p1d1) bah, I wish he'd cane me #
• 21:02 @amandapalmer (re: twitgoo.com/4p0y0) dude- u should have set this on fire #
• 21:03 @vaguecunt (re: twitgoo.com/4p3k3) haha I love you #
• 21:04 @vaguecunt where can I buy these spats/socks/leg warmers? does she have an etsy? #
• 21:58 I always love new Neanderthal news.
  
  bit.ly/1oRKp2 #
• 23:10 @vaguecunt they are awesome, I am buying some! #
• 23:11 is contemplating eating an entire pie. I do believe I have PNS #

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fuck my procrastination


and fuck my life


bahhh

but thank god for wine

I really miss Brittany suddenly. And it sucks because I somehow lost track of her on myspace and have no way of getting in touch with her

We got drunk and cuddled, it was nice.
I havent seen her since :(

I wonder if I'm suddenly depressed due to lack of sleep, or what

I hate having dreams of past lovers and waking up feeling so fucking empty and disappointed, because I thought it was real.

I always have the same dream, making the trip to the sea to see him
it varies slightly of course but the destination is always the same
and in my dream I travel to the ocean because it is the closest thing I have to him
like it is a consolation for his presence. because I almost never find him

Behold, when thy face is made bare, he that loved thee shall hate;
Thy face shall be no more fair at the fall of thy fate.
For thy life shall fall as a leaf and be shed as the rain;
And the veil of thine head shall be grief: and the crown shall be pain.


Atalanta in Calydon.

the whole fucking thing is online, it's awesome

http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Atalanta_in_Calydon/Text

• 11:28 Yea, I have to transcribe a whole hour long interview by myself TODAY
  it's due tomorrow
  
  Such is life #
• 16:51 1) My informant won't shut the hell up.
  
  2) My informant is pretty full of shit.
  Or full of himself, which is then full of shit. #
• 16:53 #HesNotThatIntoYou if he reads books like "He's just not that into you".
  Cuz that's pretty gay. And he probably likes dick. #
• 16:57 I can now find Tamaulipas on a map.
  
  The more you know... ((Cue sax music)) #
• 16:58 I'm also scared to ever go to Mexico. In case I wasn't already. #
• 17:00 I drove close to the border once. Then I realized I was close to Juarez and panicked. #
• 17:01 Don't go see Paranormal Activity.
  Except for the last 5 minutes it fucking sucks ass #
• 17:02 And I really should be transcribing instead of wasting time #
• 17:03 Oh, and yay for Wal-Mart and Chinese slave labor.
  Woo hoo. Not to mention they wont even pay American employees a living wage... #
• 17:14 Police: Fla. man stole ferret by hiding it in pants
  Suspect faces theft, battery charges for dangerously wielding the animal
  
  link to follow #
• 17:14 bit.ly/1yunoD #
• 17:18 music so excellent i just happily paid 5 bucks for it: bit.ly/2hSxW0
  wish they'd put up rare shit #
• 17:36 Natalie Dee: www.nataliedee.com/092909 #
• 18:18 @drewtoothpaste Get me some mead, you lazy wench!
  I don't care if you are just toddling, be quick about it! #
• 18:19 Okay, since Matt didnt wake me up at 9 when my alarm went off and I only got up around 11, and its 7- that makes like 8 hours of transcribin #
• 18:20 Not including bathing, food and coffee breaks, and also I had to listen to A is for accident for a while.
  So basically like 6 hours #
• 18:20 6 Hours of transcribing and I have like 15 minutes of the 60 minute interview transcribed. I'm serious this shit takes forever #
• 18:21 Wait 20 minutes.but still, same difference.
  It only has to be 30 min of transcription, I may lazy out of it and just do that
  so 10 min left #
• 18:21 10 min which will take approximately 3 hours
  
  blahhhhh #
• 18:22 and it really pisses me off that it takes me like 6 subsequent tweets to express one complete thought. guess i'm just not leet #
• 18:24 may have to rethink my occupational field
  transcribing sucks ass and i suck at it
  and progress reallly slowly #
• 20:00 @gynosaurusrex twitpic.com/nggw9 - mmm pho for the win #
• 20:00 five for fighting has got to be the dumbest band name ever.
  and also the stupidest lousy band #
• 20:02 bit.ly/2PnbxC
  Peppermint Hydrosol is my new most favorite thing, evar.
  
  The lotion is also nice #
• 20:03 I love rosewater but this stuff kicks rosewater's ass.
  
  its all cooling and tingly. #
• 20:04 Oh, and I'm 27 minutes into the transcription which is pretty sad because I feel like I finished an epic, like I just wrote the Iliad. #
• 20:08 hahaha! WeScribeIt is following me now. Dammit I could have cheated! the fact that anyone would do this for money is amazing #
• 20:10 @lividlunatic u look familiar, do I know you from like LJ or WoW or something? #
• 20:11 @WeScribeIt I will totally keep you in mind for next time ;P #
• 20:14 other new ppl following me:
  a shoe store.
  REALLY?
  
  I swear.
  They tweet about shoes. #
• 20:16 @vaguity Buntz buntz buntz
  
  BUNTZZZ #
• 20:32 ugh, my mother interrupted the interview more than the informant's children.
  
  at least THEY were well behaved #
• 20:45 ugh, I'm going to kick her in the head #
• 06:13 worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/10/29/2112069.aspx
  Jesus fucking christ-
  
  "Afghan girls burn themselves to escape marriage" #
• 06:15 @amandapalmer (re: twitgoo.com/4l6kg) OMG I fucking love it. #
• 06:17 @amandapalmer (re: twitgoo.com/4lrbo) lol Everybody can play a part in this monopoly game, indeed. That is pretty deep. #
• 06:17 @amandapalmer (re: twitgoo.com/4lr1l) SQUEAL, piggy, SQUEAL! #
• 06:18 @amandapalmer That saving installation is totally fucked up and awesome and totally art. I love it. #
• 06:20 I'm glad someone interpretted these lyrics, because I myself had no fucking clue
  vigilantcitizen.com/?p=175 #
• 06:21 And AT LAST I am at the 50 minute mark in my transcription. 10 more minutes (i.e. 3 freaking hours) left to go. #
• 06:21 the whole thing will be done on time. I thought there was no freaking way. it was like mission impossible or "24". thank god for diet pills #
• 06:23 @amandapalmer twitgoo.com/4l53t naked lady on bus-
  Maybe it was performance art? OR maybe she's mentally ill.
  There's a fine line #
• 06:31 bit.ly/4pqplu
  This reindeer video is the coolest thing ever #

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• 21:36 #wholeboycott
  wholeboycott.com/
  No wonder there were so many douchebags in whole foods yesterday. #
• 21:37 They looked at me like I was crazy for bringing in my own reusable bags.. #
• 21:38 Well whatever sprouts.com/
  Sprouts is cheaper #
• 21:48 Why a Whole Foods Boycott Might Actually Work to Spur Real Health Care Reform bit.ly/nR5EI // good read #
• 21:58 WWF - Tiger - Overview: bit.ly/174C99 via @addthis
  save the damn tigers! #

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I’ve been pro-vanity since I was ten.
I picture altars in past the shutters-den
Baby bottle didn’t choke
there were no cherry lollipops, cherry lip smacker and I got off
Marry money have a child, keep it pretty ugly as you eat sushi and drink cocktails.
And I’m sick of your smile
And I’m sick of your cake
And I’m sick of your meaningless blather
And I’m sick of your hair
And I wish it weren’t there
Maybe some night i’ll visit you sleeping

There is no place I would rather be killed
Than in my own backyard
On my own propane grill
And lolly didn't stop the little melancholy absence and I felt high so I ripped it off
Money prices an unborn child it would be hated
But you should be wary of those thirty fall drops
And I'm sick when I breathe
And I wish you would leave
At the very least have an abortion
I don’t need a damn life
And I don’t think it’s right
For a woman to breed for attention

I’ve been pro-vanity since I could know
No one will ever care to see what I don’t show
And momma didn’t lock and load it
Secretly we see
Could see a letter and withstood the shock
Oh my daddy felt I knew and consequently
Took control and took over the hope that was you

And I’m sick of myself
And I wish you could help
If you want to you can pull out the ladder
Oh, and it sounds so indulgent
Amazing i’ve managed
To keep you engaged for just four fucking minutes
And maybe you’d be happy to b
provanity

• 04:28 I was gonna get off my fat ass but then I got high. #
• 04:28 hahahha kanye is dead? seriously!?! karmas a bitch lol #
• 04:29 aw, shit he's not really dead :( #
• 04:43 @aots Yes, The ballad of gay tony has sex. but does it have GAY sex?!! #

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• 17:53 www.museumofdeath.net/ it is fitting that the museum of death is in los angeles. #
• 17:55 I still haven't been to the National Museum of Funeral History which is in Houston
  www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2226 #
• 18:03 The Haunted Catfish Plantation Restaurant. in Waxahatchie. I'm still trying to figure this one out. #
• 18:04 oh shit forgot the link bit.ly/38XMLm #
• 18:11 I licked the Blarney Stone www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2228 #
• 18:11 I have to see the stupid ugly BBQ Pig every day www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/6486 #
• 18:14 The JFK Conspiracy Museum is kinda lame.
  www.roadsideamerica.com/story/11964 #

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• 18:06 @gynosaurusrex you totally should have your own talk show.
  I'd watch it #
• 18:07 @davidhuggins1 rofl they're training you excel?
  sounds boring #
• 18:09 fuck yea #Halloween!!! I can't wait. queue up the campy horror movies plz #
• 18:10 #halloween I'm gonna be a freakin pirate., hooker pirate.
  what else is new lol #
• 18:12 I just took "What are you going to be for HALLOWEEN?" and got: Your going to be a vampire!! Try it: bit.ly/aTX0P #
• 18:12 goddammit You're going to be a vampire. YOU ARE
  contraction. asshole #
• 18:14 this is winona ryder in bram stroker's dracula btw. she looks so hot with long hair. she looks hot with short hair. screw it she is just hot #
• 18:16 forcing me to transcribe shit is like TORTURE
  i mean fuck, why not just waterboard me too #
• 18:17 i'm glad that it actually says why shit is a trending topic now.
  less confusion #
• 18:17 WTF is google wave.
  i hope its not as lame as facebook or myspace... #
• 18:25 wtf is up with all these twitter bot people and why are they following me
  what is their evil scheme, someone plz tell me #
• 18:30 @reddresser does the lesbian death bed have room for one more? #

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• 01:00 ugh I hate checking my email now. This prof always sends stuff to us and it fills me with dread... Yay more assignments and due dates #
• 01:01 Yay, the two last pages left off of an already 89 page article.
  How thoughtful of you. #
• 01:03 I want to pretend I don't check my email
  and ignore them.
  What's that? Oh I haven't been online in weeks Teacher. #
• 01:04 the upshot of this all is I'll get plenty of transcribing practice for my big final project latina interview. I've never transcribed before #
• 01:05 it seems kind of dumb.
  I hate it like I hate MLA
  or AAA.
  
  Stupid conventions and formats. #
• 01:06 god all the twits of the people
  I'm following are lame atm. #
• 01:06 @TeensAreMorons GROSS #
• 01:10 @aots hey does that web soup guy who used to be on a mtv dating show w/ jenny mccarthy have a twitter
  i forget his name but i <3 the guy #
• 01:11 oh, Chris Hardwick.
  thank you, internet
  
  that took like 5 seconds
  god i'm lazy #
• 01:14 @nerdist "I am Christ Hardwick and these are my tweets!"
  
  Are you REALLY. Are they really?
  
  Yay! #
• 04:45 bit.ly/FDuR8
  rereading over the tard blog.
  I think this one is my favorite #
• 04:46 "Needless to say, the tard will not get another sticker from me. He will not get to choose from the Friday treat jar either." #
• 05:01 bit.ly/zeBBw
  Meet Augusta... but don't touch him! #

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• 16:24 #tbfinale I cant freakin wait!
  
  #trueblood #
• 16:26 #rockthevote awe.sm/15NU
  Enough is enough, join @RocktheVote and demand health care now. #
• 16:49 goddamn, there's still a nfl team called the redskins?
  how racist can u get.
  that's like naming your sports team the niggers
  or the crackers #
• 16:51 i can't think of a more offensive term for white people....
  rich tight bigotted assholes isnt very catchy #

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• 06:01 #TrueBlood Finally getting to watch last night's show
  
  too bad the quality of the download is shit... #
• 06:04 #trueblood Are we going to get to see witches any time soon?
  because if we get to see the Queen that means sookie's cousin right? #
• 06:05 sookie's cousin= ectoplasmic reconstruction, hello?
  #true blood
  
  What was that cat's name? oh, right. Bob. #
• 06:06 why does this prabhakarsun person keep re-tweeting watch true blood season 2 episode 11?? yes that's the new episode >.< #
• 06:07 @keryntalia omg yay I'm glad I'm not the only one that got that book reference! #
• 06:08 satan in a fucking sunday hat!! #
• 06:09 yea i downloaded the hd version and the audio and pics aren't synching up properly... :( #
• 06:10 #trueblood I too would have loved seeing Lafayette's eric dreams. gay men are hot. does that make me weird? #
• 06:11 uh oh! is tara's mom possessed again? god dammit i cant tell whats going on.
  stupid corrupted file #
• 06:12 what fucking idiot hands tara's mom a loaded weapon.
  that is like maryann trying to tempt her with a bottle of vodka- you just dont! #
• 06:13 WTF eric is wearing that ugly bitch's dress now??
  am i tripping balls? #
• 06:13 i mean i was waiting for eric to show up but not in that ugly dress ewww #
• 06:14 no no it's daylight maybe lafayette has PTSD or something and is having flashbacks. i cant explain the dress rationally. #
• 06:15 sookie's all like "great now theres gonna be a meat tree in my car, too" #
• 06:17 rofl they graffitti'd "lolo" on the sheriff's walls #
• 06:18 and jason falls prey to the first floozy to throw herself at him... excepting mrs. fortenberry, of course... #
• 06:18 @JessickaAddams yea the character is just spoiled for me now.
  of all the damn people they could have cast... #
• 06:19 @eztv_it I love youuuu #
• 06:25 yesss let's take the kiddies to fangtasia!
  woot woot #
• 06:29 lafayette's car is PIMPPPP #
• 06:59 rofl "I must save SOOOOkeh"
  
  no bitch, we're playing yahtzee.
  
  full house! wooo #
• 07:02 who is playing hadley? it looks like laura palmer... #
• 07:23 You stay away from SOOkeeh, Eric. She is miiiine.
  
  /puke #
• 07:27 hahahha Jason eats special k bars #
• 07:29 boo, I'm disappointed with this week's episode.
  There's like no action at all, just a lot of people talking
  #trueblood #
• 07:29 I mean come on kill that bitch maryann already~! #

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